About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
And then he peed in my hair
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