you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
