I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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