His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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