Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
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