Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
