I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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