I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
His hands were made for my vagina.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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