Nicole vs. Life
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
