If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
