don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
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