when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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