you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
