Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
