Me too!
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
