That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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