Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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