And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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