i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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