do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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