I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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