The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
They took my balls.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
