Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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