escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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