If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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