Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize