You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
