Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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