I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
