***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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