What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
