Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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