honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Randomize
