Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
