no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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