Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
