if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
