Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
