Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
