was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Randomize
