so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
