Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
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