Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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