The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
