She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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