Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
