Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
