I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
