That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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