I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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