Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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