I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
