I'm going to jail i love you
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
