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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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